First, be easy on yourself. If your cabinets are red oak, which they likely are, you will not really close matches without toning them instead of staining. Red oak can rub from a grayish similar to white oak, all the way to pinkish. Second, do not sand to 220. Sandpaper becomes finer as you sand and the 220 can end up polishing the wood. In most cases you do not want to sand beyond 150 prior to staining. This will give you much greater success. Third, others may disagree but I have never seen the need for a pre stain conditioner with red oak. Do not over sand, and I recommend hand sanding in the direction of the grain. If the doors were already machined there should be no reason to use a power sander. So your schedule will look something like this;
1. Hand sand in grain direction to 150
2. Vacuum and wipe with lint free cloth
3. Stain as per instructions
4. Test for dry stain by lightly wiping with a white soft cloth. Little to no stain should come off
5. Seal with shellac or a thinned coat of your topcoat of choice
6. Lightly sand with 320. You do not want to break through the seal coat, just knock off the nibs and give teeth for bonding. This is actually more like wiping than sanding.
7. Vacuum and wipe
8. Apply topcoat
