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I personally have not had bad luck with poly and red oak. At least the cabinets I put them on have held up well. Like I said, this is only my e experience, limited though it might be.
The top was done with oil based wipe on poly, and the cabinet was water based poly over white stain. They've held up several years now.

The top was done with oil based wipe on poly, and the cabinet was water based poly over white stain. They've held up several years now.