Glue just on the shoulder side of the tenon?
"They would only put glue on the shoulder of the joint and the last part of the tenon so it was only fast at one point."
Really? I thought the cheeks of the tenon were the holding part and I've read something to the effect, "the shoulders don't do much work."
You're right, my novice inclination was to just flood that sucker with glue. :)
I have both types of m&t's, stopped and through mortises. The stopped ones are from the legs downward into the feet so they'll have the weight of the bench constantly. The horizontal cross stretchers are the through ones, through the legs so they might expand and contract a bit.
I guess there really won't be much force 'pulling' the stretchers out, so gluing just around the shoulder area isn't such a bad concept.
I see the concept behind that paring chisel, wide flat blade. I do have a really nice mortise chisel I picked up and studied as much technique as I could find on how to use it. That went fairly well.
It's smoothing those sides that didn't cut it. I'm hoping they will still work out.