Well, that escalated quickly.
In case anyone was still interested in the topic of this thread, an update of sorts!
It's been a combination of pretty warm and rainy as blah here. So the humidity is all over the place. A year or two ago we had a pretty crazy heatwave and so when I went to buy a fan for my apartment, the only ones left were these huge air circulation fans. So I have had this thing blasting for a couple days now, coincidentally blowing air across the table top.
Every single board on this thing completely warped. Before hand it was just bad joints that made the table top out of line, but now, this thing is more crooked than a politician.
I am floored.