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post #1 of 11 Old 01-18-2007, 09:28 PM Thread Starter
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Jokes

I would like to apologize for my last posted joke....hence the joke sticky, I did not mean to offend anyone and I'd like to say " I'm sorry " for having to be moderated....on the other hand though...you moderators might need a bit more to do ...I could invite bbqjoe over from the bbq forum and you guys would have extreme job security! Seriously though...I did not mean to step on any toes and will moderate myself in the future.

Save a tree...eat a beaver!
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post #2 of 11 Old 01-18-2007, 09:44 PM
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We appreciate and accept your apology. We did not have anything that stated what the sticky does and that is why we were lenient. We don't mind a good joke though so if you've got any that are funny then by all means post them.

Do one thing at a time, do it well, then move on.
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post #3 of 11 Old 04-16-2013, 12:55 PM
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How to successfully operate a business

A CEO held a plantwide meeting to let the workers know that there was going to have to be cutbacks on employment due to Obamacare and other stupid government meddling. He told the people that he had to lay off 60 people to keep up with new empoyment laws that had been passed. He said that it had bothered him tremendously until he had hit upon the best way to make the decision.Here is what he said he did to appease his own conscience:

I went through the parking lot and copied the license number of 60 cars that had Obama election stickers on their bumpers. These are the people whose employment I will terminate. I feel if they wanted change, this is the best way to give them that change.

To the rest of you, I will see you at the upcoming company picnic.
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post #4 of 11 Old 08-18-2013, 06:00 AM
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I know, I know. You're no good at telling jokes and you can never remember them, right? Here's an easy one to remember and it never fails. Just ask, "Have you heard the one about the farmer who was outstanding in his field?"

Pete Moss
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post #5 of 11 Old 10-07-2013, 09:49 PM
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I'm of Italian heritage so it's okay for me to share this.

http://www.toilette-humor.com/funny_...m_medium=email
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post #6 of 11 Old 10-08-2013, 12:56 AM
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That's freakin' hilarious!

As a German Polish Spanish/Moorish Russian Bohemian of Jewish and Catholic descent is it ok for me to laugh?

Hell yes it is!

God bless Don Rickles.


When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did in his
sleep. Not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car.

Jack Handey
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post #7 of 11 Old 10-08-2013, 02:14 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mark G View Post
I'm of Italian heritage so it's okay for me to share this.

http://www.toilette-humor.com/funny_...m_medium=email
Absolutely hysterical.

Use the right tool for the job.

Rich (Tilting right)
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Remember that when we have the "BIG ONE" everything east of the Rockies falls into the ocean.
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post #8 of 11 Old 12-04-2013, 12:16 PM
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My wife and I watched the new Bill Cosby stand-up special on Comedy Central last night. He looks his age be he's still got it. He has gotten preachy in his older years, but there was none of that in this performance. I highly recommend it.

It reminded me of this classic bit he did decades ago. It went something like this. I'm paraphrasing...

"Until we were old enough to go to school where they called the roll, my brother and I thought our names were Jesus Christ and Dammit. That's all our dad called us. 'Jesus Christ, I told you not to do that!' 'Dammit, what are you doing in bathroom!'

One day I was playing outside in the rain. Dad threw open the front door. 'Dammit, don't you have more sense than to play in the rain? I said, 'Dad, I'm Jesus Christ. Dammit is inside watching TV."
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post #9 of 11 Old 12-04-2013, 12:44 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hammered Toes View Post
A CEO held a plantwide meeting to let the workers know that there was going to have to be cutbacks on employment due to Obamacare and other stupid government meddling. He told the people that he had to lay off 60 people to keep up with new empoyment laws that had been passed. He said that it had bothered him tremendously until he had hit upon the best way to make the decision.Here is what he said he did to appease his own conscience:

I went through the parking lot and copied the license number of 60 cars that had Obama election stickers on their bumpers. These are the people whose employment I will terminate. I feel if they wanted change, this is the best way to give them that change.

To the rest of you, I will see you at the upcoming company picnic.
I know this is a joke, but it always surprises me that the first cut a company want to make is to the lowest paid employee, even in jokes. Maybe fire the CEO his multi million dollar salary would probably provide free heath care coverage to every employee there, and we wouldn't need Obamacare.
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post #10 of 11 Old 12-04-2013, 01:48 PM
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I saw that Cosby special. It was hilarious.

I especially liked how he explained the marriage experience.

As for the preachiness... Cosby is a truth speaker. That's bound to make some folks uncomfortable. Too bad.

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did in his
sleep. Not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car.

Jack Handey
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post #11 of 11 Old 12-04-2013, 05:25 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GoNavy429
I know this is a joke, but it always surprises me that the first cut a company want to make is to the lowest paid employee, even in jokes. Maybe fire the CEO his multi million dollar salary would probably provide free heath care coverage to every employee there, and we wouldn't need Obamacare.
I didn't see where the 60 license plates were the lowest paid employees. The lowest probably took public transportation
;laughing;

Cut it twice, measure once and it's still too short.
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