A successful businessman had an Italian mistress on the sly. He supported her for about 5 years when she told him she was pregnant. Not wanting problems with his wife and family, he told her if she would go back to Italy and have the baby, he would support the two of them as long as she stayed in Italy. So she agreed to do this, but wanted to know how she was supposed to let him know when the baby as born. He told her to send a letter with the word "spaghetti" written on a sheet of paper and he would know the baby had been born and he would start support payments.
About 9 months later the fellow came home from work and his wife said he had a letter from Italy. He took the letter, read it and promptly turned white and fainted. His wife picked up the letter and read.... spaghetti, spaghetti, spaghetti, spaghetti, spaghetti. Three with meatballs and two without. Send more sauce.