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post #1 of 4 Old 10-16-2006, 05:26 PM Thread Starter
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A husband was in big trouble when he forgot his wedding anniversary. "Tomorrow," his wife angrily told him, "there had better be something In our driveway that goes from zero to 200 in two seconds flat!"
The next morning, the wife looked outside and saw a small package in the driveway. She brought it inside, opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Measure Twice Cut Once -- It's a lot easier to cut more off then it is to cut MORON.
Finishing is 3 parts chemistry and 1 part VooDoo
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post #2 of 4 Old 10-16-2006, 09:37 PM
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Good one

Next time a gal tells you she's lost 10 pounds, - - ask if she's looked behind her . . .
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post #3 of 4 Old 10-17-2006, 10:25 AM
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Aaahhhhh.....I won't be usin' that any time soon....
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post #4 of 4 Old 10-26-2006, 11:52 AM
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I get to feelin sorry for guys who marry one hundered pounders and on their 10th anniversay, or sooner, they have twice what they bargained for. Then I get to wondering if because the husband has slipped into that "comfort zone" where he basically no longer gives her the attention she needs (women never "outgrow" their need for TLC) if her weight isn't simply the result of her giving herself the attention she needs with food.
Get off that couch guys, order her some flowers delivered to her door, and take her out for a "no reason" romantic dinner! Then tell her you realize you no longer treat her like the queen you married, "but not because I don't love you every bit as much! MORE actually. It's just that I've gotten a little lazy. I am going to do better!"
After you have convinced her you aren't having an affair, she will reciprocate! If not. Dump her immediately and move to Iceland where the women love American men, or order a Russian bride where there is a drastic shortage of men, or if you want to keep in the same basic culture (key word "basic") move to the UK where for the first time in eons there are more women than men. Shaving has in fact caught on pretty well with most of the European women in the past decade.:icon_wink:
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