Funny - Woodworking Talk - Woodworkers Forum
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 4 Old 10-16-2006, 05:26 PM Thread Starter
Senior Sawdust Producer
 
Leo G's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Windsor Locks, Connecticut
Posts: 4,356
View Leo G's Photo Album My Photos
Funny

A husband was in big trouble when he forgot his wedding anniversary. "Tomorrow," his wife angrily told him, "there had better be something In our driveway that goes from zero to 200 in two seconds flat!"
The next morning, the wife looked outside and saw a small package in the driveway. She brought it inside, opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Measure Twice Cut Once -- It's a lot easier to cut more off then it is to cut MORON.
Finishing is 3 parts chemistry and 1 part VooDoo http://lrgwood.com
Leo G is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 4 Old 10-16-2006, 09:37 PM
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 76
View Tom R's Photo Album My Photos
Good one

Next time a gal tells you she's lost 10 pounds, - - ask if she's looked behind her . . .
Tom R is offline  
post #3 of 4 Old 10-17-2006, 10:25 AM
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 404
View Burlkraft's Photo Album My Photos
Aaahhhhh.....I won't be usin' that any time soon....
Burlkraft is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #4 of 4 Old 10-26-2006, 11:52 AM
Forgotten but not gone
 
TexasTimbers's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Texas
Posts: 5,677
View TexasTimbers's Photo Album My Photos
Eeek!


I get to feelin sorry for guys who marry one hundered pounders and on their 10th anniversay, or sooner, they have twice what they bargained for. Then I get to wondering if because the husband has slipped into that "comfort zone" where he basically no longer gives her the attention she needs (women never "outgrow" their need for TLC) if her weight isn't simply the result of her giving herself the attention she needs with food.
Get off that couch guys, order her some flowers delivered to her door, and take her out for a "no reason" romantic dinner! Then tell her you realize you no longer treat her like the queen you married, "but not because I don't love you every bit as much! MORE actually. It's just that I've gotten a little lazy. I am going to do better!"
After you have convinced her you aren't having an affair, she will reciprocate! If not. Dump her immediately and move to Iceland where the women love American men, or order a Russian bride where there is a drastic shortage of men, or if you want to keep in the same basic culture (key word "basic") move to the UK where for the first time in eons there are more women than men. Shaving has in fact caught on pretty well with most of the European women in the past decade.:icon_wink:
TexasTimbers is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the Woodworking Talk - Woodworkers Forum forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in










Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Funny project firehawkmph Off Topic 9 11-26-2008 08:43 PM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome