Actually the procedure should be grain filler, stain, then sealer and last a finish. Matching a color is a matter of tinkering. You take the stain you have been using and get a much darker color stain along the same tone and intermix the stain until you achieve the color you want on scrap wood. Then when you think you have it apply a finish over the top as a clear coating can change the color a little. Then when you think it's a perfect match take the project and the sample out in the direct sun and check it again to see if it matches. Sometimes wood looks fine in artificial light and when you get in the sun it's way off.