I must agree with you in two things...
Yes, everybody has "one of those days" and sometimes it's reflected at home or in the forum...
And yes, it does not take $20,000 to make a table...
My "heavy machinery" includes Table saw and Router (no planer, jointer, band saw, radial arm saw) and still I could make the unit in the pic (3 separate units) and I don't have Panel raising router bit nor strong enough router to turn it.
The glue-line of the coffee table top on the pic above was made first on the table saw and then refined with 1 Meter (1 Yard) of #60 sanding paper stick to an L shape, and sanding till I got tight fit.
You said that you have a router so it's easier and quicker to do it with a straight edge and you get 100% fit every time or as I call it "Idiot proof method" (because I know myself).
I will post a new post titled "Glue line with hand held router", the idea is not new at all, I just improved it for easy positioning of the straight edge.